JEST KIDDING
Stolen Horse Caper
A cowboy rode into Goldfield and stopped at the Santa Fe for a drink. The locals had a habit of
picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink he saw his horse was gone. He went
back into the bar, flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a
shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you side winders stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one
answered. "All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back by the time I finish, I'm
gonna do what I dun in Tonopah. And I ain't gonna like doing that."
He finished his beer walked outside and his horse was back. He saddled up and got ready to get out of
town. A local came out and asked, "Say stranger, before you go... What happened in Tonopah? The
cowboy answered, "I had to walk home."
A doctor went to visit a lady in a convalescent home. He sat chatting with her for a while and noticed
a bowl with peanuts. He asked if she would mind if he ate a couple. Oh, not at all dear she said, go
right ahead. The doctor wondered why anyone would bring someone without teeth peanuts. He ate the
whole bowl and remarked "I've finished all your peanuts. I need to bring you some next time I come
by. Oh, don't bother said the sweet old lady. I have a whole big bag here. I just suck the chocolate off
of them an put them in the dish.
Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. When
he arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in
the last row in the corner of the stadium.
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed
an empty seat in the 10th row, right at the 50-yard
line. He decided to take a chance, made his way to
the empty seat, and asked the man sitting next to
him if anyone was sitting here. The man replied,
"No".
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game,
Bob said to the man next to him, This is incredible!
Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at
the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The man replied, "well actually, the seat belongs to
me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she
passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't
been together since we got married in 1967."
That's really sad, said Bob,"But still, couldn't you
find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close
friend?"
No, "the man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Sam decided it was time to retire from the
garment business. So he called in his son, Bob
and gave him the news and a bit of advice "son,
it's all yours. I've made a sucess of this business
because of two principles: reliability and
wisdom. First, take reliability. If you promise
goods by the 10th of the month, no matter what
happens, you must deliver by the 10th. Even if
it costs you overtime, double time, golden time.
Deliver what you promise. Bob thought about
this for a few minutes and then asked, "But
what about wisdom?" His father shot back,
"Wisdom is never making such a stupid
promise."
-James Hewett
As mom was preparing pancakes for her
sons, Johnny, 5 and Alex, 3, the boys began to
argue over who would get the first pancake,
The Mom saw the opportunity to teach a moral
lesson. She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He
would say, Let my brother have the first
pancake, I can wait." Johnny quickly turned to
his younger brother and said, "Okay, Alex, you
be Jesus."
-anon.